Course | Articles | Recipes | Q & A | Links | Books

home > articles

An Ayurvedic Perspective on Anger, Conflict & Forgiveness - part I

by Alex Duncan

Namaskar! In my previous article, I developed the concept of physical prakriti or Ayurvedic body type. Recall that Ayurveda believes that all your physical and mental functions are controlled by the three doshas, Vata, Pitta and Kapha. All mental states, frames of mind, emotions and behaviours can be linked to the doshas. Just as you have one or more doshas dominating in your physical prakriti, so is the case for your mental prakriti. Most often, your physical and mental prakritis are the same. Luckily, all that you have learned about the doshas and their role in your body can be applied metaphorically to your mind. Recall:-

• Vata governs ‘Air’ which is contained or supported by ‘Space’. It relates to the idea of ‘wind’ hence the idea of movement. It is cold, dry, light, irregular, mobile (it blows in many ways, dispersing itself), hard, rough, subtle, clear.
  
  
• Pitta governs ‘Fire’ and is contained or supported by ‘Water’. It relates to bile and enzyme function physically hence the idea of  transformation. It is hot, oily, sharp, light and mobile (it spreads consuming all in its path), soft, smooth, subtle, clear.
  
• Kapha governs ‘Water’ and is contained or supported by ‘Earth’. It relates physically to phlegm and all liquid lubricants in the body (among other things) hence the idea of cohesion. It is cold, wet, heavy, slow, dull, sticky, smooth, soft, gross, opaque.

Now, let’s expand our doshic toolset and develop some mental doshic traits:- 

• A Vata dominant mind is fundamentally motivated by stimulation and change which is due Vata’s inherent erratic, mobile nature. Vata comes up with original ideas from thin air! This requires a sort of airy fairy, head in the clouds, abstract thought sort of disposition.
  
  
• A Pitta dominant mind is fundamentally motivated by passion and goals which is due to Pitta’s inherent hot nature (heat gives keenness, a hunger and thirst to achieve and transform things). Pitta plans and organises things so as to make possible Vata’s creation. This requires a tenacious, perceptive, critical mind that is capable of giving precision and direction to Vata’s whimsical meandering.
  
• A Kapha dominant mind is fundamentally motivated by security and stability which is due to Kapha’s inherent grounding, nurturing, supporting, slow-and-steady nature. Kapha takes the idea of Vata, and realises it using the plans of pitta, following them out in a steady methodical nature. This requires patience, stability and cohesion.

With this in mind, let’s look at how you might experience anger, conflict and forgiveness if you are a Vata type. You tend to be spontaneous, often acting without reflection, which takes you to extremes and unknowns which are stimulating. What’s more, your direction, opinions, and beliefs often change. Why would you become angry? Anger, which is always mainly hot in nature isn’t a typical Vata emotion. Perhaps something or someone is preventing you from moving freely, from creating and being spontaneous. Like being stuck in the traffic, looking after the kids, stuck in a repetitive job, whatever. Perhaps you become over stimulated then angry because there is too much noise or mayhem in your environment (which, ironically, is typical in a Vata household). And how will you manifest your anger? This depends. Since you are cold, light, and basically more of a nervous-disposition, you don’t normally have a great deal of courage (this is the domain of pitta). This may prevent you from confronting your anger with others, due to the fear of conflict – which always shakes you up. If our anger doesn’t get suppressed, or when it reaches a point where you have to get it out, your Vata anger will probably be quickly spoken and quickly forgotten about, and you will feel really shaken up, not so much hot and raging. The thing about Vata is its fickle nature! Something can seem like a big deal, then, all of a sudden, it’s forgotten about, history! You become easily overwhelmed, and loose perspective, hence your anger is often poorly substantiated by factual clarity and exact events.

Now let’s consider a Pitta type. Pitta is inherently hot and so tends to get angry more often than most other types. If you are Pitta dominant, you can become angry for no apparent reason, simply due to an excess of pitta globally, you become ‘choleric’ and unpleasant to be with. When Pitta increases, the normal perceptive nature of pitta becomes overdeveloped and becomes  really critical, judgmental and hurtful. But what really rubs up against your Pitta is when something gets in the way of, or jeopardises your goal or project (stuck in traffic again for example!). Or if someone criticises your work or beliefs (since the recognition that pittas get for their high achievements is often a strong part of there self-image). Besides this, your Pitta often can’t abide the fickle, somewhat superficial approach to life of Vatas. They hate being out of control, without direction. Precision and exactness are Pitta qualities that often get you into conflicts, either with others or with yourself, as you exert unreasonable expectations on life. And this is the problem, your Pitta tends not to shy away from conflicts and challenge. Hot, courageous and bold, all too often you burn up your opponent in an intense argument. (Pitta loves intensity, it is why they can also (like Vatas) do extreme things like bungee jumping or racing: Pittas likes speed for it’s intensity, Vata for the stimulation). Once the conflict is over, if they you have won, you will quickly move on, but if you loose, you may be reluctant to forgive and forget since your Pitta hates being wrong!

Now, what about Kapha? Like Vata, Kapha is not hot in nature, and thus lacks courage. What’s more, the inherent heating nature of conflict that often brings about some sort of change to the norm challenges Kapha’s love for security and stability. So if you are Kapha dominant, and you can at all avoid it, you may prefer not to engage in conflict or deal directly with the problem. Instead, you may manipulate the situation to your advantage. For example, maybe your partner has been planning a boat trip around the Isle of Skye on a friends yacht. But your Kapha is not so keen on the idea, since it could be risky (Kapha hates taking risks : loss of possessions or people is a continuous treat to your security/stability), or perhaps the travel alone puts the you off (travel equates to change, and change is the opposite to security and stability). But you don’t want to confront your partner directly, since you are apprehensive about the anger it might provoke (especially if it is a Pitta type!) or the disappointment it might cause (Kapha needs to feel loved more than anything, and needs to feel that they are loving and nurturing their loved ones). So instead of being direct, you might manipulate the situation, creating a distraction or removing you’re the need to voice your choice directly. For example, you might say “Sorry honey, I would love to come with you, but my sister has asked me to look after her cats that weekend, and I would hate to have to let her down at this late date”. This is a typical Kapha way of dealing with things. Anything not to upset the status quo. While your Kapha’s nurturing side able to forgive, your intrinsic attachment (kapha literally means ‘that which binds’) makes it almost impossible to forget!

It’s not always as simple as this, and I know I haven’t talked at all about how to deal with our anger and conflict, we can deal with this next time, but until then, ask yourself how you deal with anger, conflict and forgiveness and see if it helps you understand your Ayurvedic mental prakriti.

Alex Duncan, Ayurvedic Educator, lives in the South of France where he runs Gardoussel Retreat www.gardoussel.com offering Ayurvedic consultations and various Ayurveda & yoga workshops and retreats. Contact Alex on (France): +33 (0) 4 66 60 16 78.